Musings of My Mind

Incorporating expressive art into your healing journey can provide a powerful means of self-expression, emotional release, and personal reflection. Here, Loni shares some of her self-expression, which can serve as an inspiring example of how engaging in artistic activities can aid in the healing process. Through her art, Loni shows us that healing is not just about overcoming pain, but also about finding beauty and meaning in the process.

Scraped and Seen

Who wants to see the rot and decay scraped away from years of neglect and abuse.
Turn away from seeing the damage that was caused,
and give light to the new space created to hold the softness, love, and beauty anew.

Bear witness to that which grows and regenerates from that which was determined to be discard.
Allow for the presence of the paradoxical complexity
that provides space for both suffering and relief to co-exist.

For there is no light without darkness, no love without hate, no joy without defeat.
Hold them, see them, embrace them.
For everything deserves to be seen without judgement and be contained with love and compassion.

- Loni Fagel

  • Shattered Glass Shards
    in my gangrene ridden leg.
    Remove the pieces.
    so I can learn to walk again.

    - Loni Fagel

  • Beauty of indifference

    Wilting flower standing tall in a vase
    Gathering mold around the stem 
    The petals colorful, shining bright
    Hiding what’s beneath.

    What’s keeping it from growing?
    The mold around the stem?
    Too easy to remove the rot
    Too ashamed to admit defeat.

    Wilting flower standing tall in a vase
    Hiding what’s beneath. 
    Cutting off the air it breathes,
    the water that it drinks.
    The petals shift to dark and dull
    Wilting flower standing tall.

    The beauty of its nature
    Or agony in defeat?

    - Loni Fagel

  • You are a warrior of determination.

    Your well is not contaminated
    with remnants of the past,
    But with beauty and wisdom
    Birthed by simply being alive.

    Your power lies in the mountains and valleys you have traveled.

    With each new path,
    New meaning has been made
    Both cautiously and with inhibition.
    Filling that well with the sweetness of knowledge
    Earned with each step.

    Content with what has passed
    And open to what is yet to come.

    You are a warrior of determination.

    - Loni Fagel

  • Love and accept all the parts of self…
    The good, the bad, the ugly.

    Deep in your well is a life lived,
    Often confused confidence of who you actually are
    And what was needed to keep the well from overflowing.

    On the other side of the ridge there is always the risk of rejection,
    Doubt,
    Heartache,
    Judgement,
    Attack,
    Of the volcano erupting and destroying all that was built
    In the valley of security.

    That was the past,
    There may be emotions,
    But now they are contained.

    - Loni Fagel

  • Softening what was hardened
    Embracing the fragility and 
    Accepting the broken knowing it can be healed.

    There will always be obstacles that may slow down time
    beyond each raging rapid or high peak
    There will be calm walters and peaceful valleys,

    Like the scars lined with gold,
    Making what may be seen as broken
    Appear as a beautiful whole.

    Leaning into the challenge of yet 
    Another unknown which invigorates a fire and grow whatever comes next.

    - Loni Fagel

  • Live in curiosity.
    Your past and future are trying to talk to each other.
    The person you think you are,
    was taught to you by others.

    Judgement and curiosity are far apart.
    Making meaning, means we don’t know anything.
    You don’t have to change your mind,
    Just be open to it changing.

    More than one thing can be true. 
    Understand where you are.
    Living up with purpose
    I am with you.

    Never abandon yourself.
    Hold the broken bits.
    Kindness and sorrow have to know each other.

    Trust the wisdom of the body to heal.
    Don’t have to ask the questions, 
    They come to you voluntarily.

    Find your way back,
    Let go of the pain.
    The heart knows the way. 
    Welcome whatever comes in pieces and tatters.

    Let go…
    Be on the journey.
    Use whatever is in your well
    And trust what appears is the thing that guides you.

    - Loni Fagel

  • Deep within the well you will find the endless possibility 
    of who you are and who you can be.

    The life force supported as it spills aimlessly into the world, 
    Unsure of what or who will be there to catch it and support it
    As it seeps into the earth.
    Who will nurture the sweet and fruitful yields and protect from the hard and ugly truth
    Of what emerges from the depth of the well.

    Embrace your power,
    Your warrior and determination to accept whatever is produced
    And alive in the world.

    -Loni Fagel

  • Boldly lean into the fear of not knowing.
    Remove the doubt of the what ifs.
    Move into the impermanence of living in this moment.
    Breath by breath.

    Take in each thought
    And let it pass by with curiosity 
    and let go of what your heart cannot hold
    release what does not need to be seen in that moment.

    Receive the known and unknown
    And let it guide the way.

    -Loni Fagel

Repair

The words from the past 
Haunt every sense of the self.

Seeping into the day to day experience.

Embrace the dance between past, present, and future.

Surround yourself with strength, 
humor, love, and courage.

You are enough,
And though you may break,
You are not broken.

- Loni Fagel

Boobs

How I fear to part ways with my trusty companions.
Disassembling your beauty into something that 
Represents both sickness and health.
Can I continue to look at myself in the same
Light and find solace in knowing you held out as long as you could.

That of you which remains will be a 
reminder of the space you continue to hold for growth and life.

You are wanted but it’s time to let go.
Time is not on your side my friends.

- Loni Fagel